Today I took the kiddos to Target and then we headed to the playground. While at the playground I had an interesting experience...it was one of those things that makes you think.
Here is the scene...we arrive at our neighborhood park, and it was empty. I started unloading the kiddos and the toys. While we are finishing the process another car pulls up. Most of the time my clan is the majority at the playground...but not today. The second vehicle that pulls up joined us with 6 children and two adults. The approximate ages of the children were..5 year old boy, 4 year old girl, 4 year old boy, 3 year old girl, 2 year old girl, and 1 year old boy. They had the Regalado clan out numbered....this was a first at the neighborhood park. So the two adults were two men...and they each had children within the bunch of six, but not all the kids were theirs. How do I know this you ask...a talkative 5 year old from this bunch told me so...they were however all cousins. Kinda like Gavin with us.
After being there about 5 minutes a lady arrives with her one son...I would say he was about 2 years old. From the minute he got there he was not on his best behavior.Within minutes he throwing and kicking rocks and all she did was give him a look...so he kept right on doing it. He walked right to where Sammy was playing and threw rocks into Sammy's truck...Sammy was not too thrilled and told him "no, my rolly pollies are in there." However he kept doing it...mom just looked at me and said "sorry." She made no attempt to correct his behavior or explain what Sammy was telling him. Sammy had found some rolly pollies while playing and was wanting to keep them in the truck. He later showed me that one of his rolly pollies was no longer moving...and that it was the little boy's fault.
So this men had complete control of the children at all times. These two men were blowing bubbles for about 15 minutes to entertain the younger ones. They pushed the little ones on the swing, and made paper airplanes for some of the older ones. At one point the children had asked to borrow some of our shovels, and my gang and the older four from their gang were playing together along with the single child. The single child starting knocking down with a rake what all the other children were doing. Mommy who was within 2 feet said "be nice," and he continued swinging the rake around. Couple minutes later he hits one of the girls...once again mommy says "be nice." Somehow this mom leaves to go to the other side of the playground so she can chat on her cell phone. I just can't imagine what could be more important than watching your child around 10 children you don't know. During this phone time...one of the dads says to the kids no more shovels, it's time to run around and play. I almost laughed because that sounds like what I tell my kids when all the want to do is swing. All the kiddos dropped their shovels and started playing...not a single complaint. Then the dad told them to return the shovels, and they obeyed at the first request...and they were all returned with the appropriate thank you's. The oldest boy asked me if he could play with one of our trucks...I said yes...and he was so excited to see that he could scoop rocks, and dump them out by releasing a lever on the truck. He asked if he could show his dad the truck, and was grinning from ear to ear when I said yes. When he brought the truck back, he asked me where we got the truck...and if Santa had made it at his workshop. Very cute! He is also the one who was trying to tell me who was related to who in the bunch, and all of his aunts and uncles names...so I got a tad lost on the genealogy...after all I had to watch my kiddos at the same time.
My thoughts on this scenario...are kids from families with multiple children better behaved than only children? I would like to think that if John David were my only child he would just as well behaved...but would he be able to get away with more? Does the number of kids affect the parenting style? So for me with four kiddos routine is a must...or it would be hard to manage all of them. Or is it the gender? The guys never got a single moan or complaint. When it was time for their group to leave...they told their children to get their water bottles, and get in the car...and they all listened at the first command. I have to admit that i got a whine from Carlos when I took him off the swing so we could leave...but a simple refocus on a drink of water did the trick to soothe him. It also seems that JP gets less attitude than I do from the kids as well. Or is it that some parents are too concerned about being a friend to their child, and letting them express themselves at the expense of everyone else? If a child does not listen at age two, what will cause him to listen at a later age? I know this is extreme, but is this child going to diagnosed with some disorder all because he was never taught to listen or pay attention as a toddler? If a mom is willing and able to leave her child for a phone conversation in a public area...what kind of attention does this child receive within their private home. Is it good or bad that the child is so secure in a public place, surrounded by strangers and never stopped to look for his mom. He just kept doing his own thing...swinging rakes, and rocks. I can't even go to the restroom without someone following me in our own house...they would definitely track me down in public as well.
All in all I must admit that I was very impressed to see the two dads out there with their group of kiddos...having a good time.
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